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The Silence of the LANs (Halloween Special)

By Alex Henthorn-Iwane
| | 5 min read


Hawk moth from The Silence of the Lambs

Hannibal LANter: I will listen now. You were ten years into your network engineering career. You went to work with colleagues on an app and microservices ranch in Montana. And...?

Clarice Engineerling: [tears begin forming in her eyes] And one morning, I just ran away.

Hannibal LANter: No "just", Clarice. What set you off? You started troubleshooting the application user experience issue at what time?

Clarice Engineerling: Early, still dark.

Hannibal LANter: Then something threw you didn’t it? Something you couldn’t place your finger on?

Clarice Engineerling: I heard a strange noise.

Hannibal LANter: What was it?

Clarice Engineerling: It was... screaming. Some kind of screaming, like a child's voice.

Hannibal LANter: What did you do?

Clarice Engineerling: I went down to the NOC. I crept up into the control center. I was so scared to look at the monitors, but I had to.

Hannibal LANter: And what did you see, Clarice? What did you see?

Clarice Engineerling: LANs. The LANs were screaming.

Hannibal LANter: The NOC staff couldn’t figure out if the user experience issue was due to the LAN or something on the Internet?

Clarice Engineerling: And they were screaming.

Hannibal LANter: And you ran away?

Clarice Engineerling: No. First I tried to solve the problem. I... I looked at all the SNMP and traffic tools and ran as many CLI console commands as I could, but they wouldn't tell me anything conclusive about if the app issue was linked to the LANs. They just stood there, confused. They couldn't help.

Hannibal LANter: But you could and you did, didn't you?

Clarice Engineerling: Yes. I researched Network Intelligence, and found out that with visibility from app to network to device layer and even to BGP, I could save the app and user experience. And I carried that knowledge and ran away as fast as I could to get someone to invest in it..

Hannibal LANter: Where were you going, Clarice?

Clarice Engineerling: I don't know. I didn't have any support, any political cover and it was very cold, very cold. I thought, I thought if I could convince just one person, but... the, the resistance was so heavy. So heavy. I didn't get more than a few miles when the legacy network tools team picked me up. The manager was so angry he sent me to live at the network engineering orphanage in Bozeman. I never saw the app ranch again.

Hannibal LANter: What became of the user experience, Clarice?

Clarice Engineerling: They killed it.

Don’t let this be your app delivery horror story. Check out the Device Layer of ThousandEyes multi-layer visibility and you’ll never again need to listen to the awful screaming of the LANs.

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